F.R.I.E.N.D.S Season 11 Episode 7: The one where the lobsters get engaged

Note:- This post is an update of my attempt to narrate the events that may have taken place between the sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S finale and it’s spin-off Joey’s pilot. And here’s the link to my previous post on the same :-

F.R.I.E.N.D.S Season 11 Episode 1: The one with their last cup of coffee

F.R.I.E.N.D.S Season 11 Episode 2: The one at Westchester

F.R.I.E.N.D.S Season 11 Episode 3: The one with Emma’s birthday party

F.R.I.E.N.D.S Season 11 Episode 4: The one with the Godfather dilemma

F.R.I.E.N.D.S Season 11 Episode 5: The one at the Planetarium

F.R.I.E.N.D.S Season 11 Episode 6: The one with the new house

Happy visualizing! 😁

Episode 7: The one where the lobsters get engaged

Opening scene

(Scene opens in an elite lounge in New Orleans. Mike is playing on a grand piano and Phoebe is at the bar, clinking glasses in tune.)

(The song comes to an end)

Phoebe (excited): I love this place!

Mike (flushed with joy): Me too! It’s much better than I had imagined!

Phoebe (nodding in agreement): I can picture myself playing all of my songs here all the time!

Mike (uncomfortable): Uhhhh…

(Phoebe suddenly becomes serious)

Mike (concerned): Pheebs?

Phoebe (pulled out of a reverie): Huh?

Mike: What’s up?

Phoebe: I was just thinking about our guys. I really didn’t like coming here without even telling them. I miss them aldready…

Mike: It’s not like we have run away, we’ll be going back in just a few days!

Phoebe (not actually listening): Do you think they may be missing us?

Mike: Of course! In fact I can swear they are thinking about us right now!

(Scene changes to Monica and Chandler’s home. All five of them are gathered around the TV.)

Rachel (out of breath): Oh my God, Oh my God, he’s finally on stage!

(All let out cheers and whistles as their favourite celeb comes on stage.)

(Title song)

Monica and Chandler’s living room

( Scene resumes. The show has just ended.)

Joey (flushed with excitement): Guys, I have some great news!

Chandler (amused by seeing Joey practically jumping with excitement): It couldn’t be more obvious!

Joey: You know that agent with whom Gina had set me up with?

All: Yeah.

Joey: She’s amazing. She has found out a couple of auditions for me right away! And Gina has already seen to my living arrangements. So it’s all set! The auditions are in two weeks!

(Everyone’s faces slowly fall as though they want to feel happy for him, they are depressed by the fact that he is leaving in under two weeks)

(For the first time, Chandler has apparently nothing to say)

All (excluding Chandler): That’s great!

Joey (failing to notice the loss of enthusiasm): Great? It’s awesome!

Chandler (standing up): Not as awesome as the new Joey room! It’s awesomer!

(Chandler now pushes Joey along)

Chandler: Let me show you the all new Joey room 2.0!

(Joey tags along, frowning a bit as he follows Chandler)

Ross: Was that just me, or was this even more awkward than regular Chandler?

(Nobody speaks for a while)

( Rachel gets a call)

Rachel (after seeing who it is): Uh oh… (Heads into the kitchen to take the call)

Monica (after watching her go): There’s something I wanted to ask you…

Ross (A bit concerned by her tone): Shoot.

Monica: Chandler told me that you were interested in buying our neighbouring house. What brought it on?

Ross (thoughtful): Well, after Rachel told me that she would say yes whenever I proposed it really got me thinking of starting a new life with her.

Monica: That’s great! Have you told Rach?

Ross: Not yet. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. Or if it’s the right time to do it.

Monica: For God’s sake Ross, there’s never going to be a right time! If anything it’s long overdue. Just do it!

Ross (sighing): I just want it to be perfect, you know?

Monica: Ross, listen to me. It doesn’t take some top of the world gesture to do it. You and Rachel have been with each other long enough. You don’t need that romantic Planetarium date to convince her how much you love her. She aldready knows it. All you need is just to be honest with her…

Ross: Yeah, you’re right.

Monica (smiling): Hey, I’m always right!

Ross: I wonder why I didn’t come to you sooner?

Monica: Perhaps you were too busy following advise of the two dumbasses that being Joey and my husband. And then your head became too big to listen to your heart!

Ross (recollecting): Oh yeah!

(Flashback- (1) The scene where Chandler and Joey help Ross make a pro/con list of Julie and Rachel. (2) When Chandler and Joey convinced Ross not to tell the fact that he had slept with Chloe to Rachel.)

Ross: Really, what was I thinking, huh?

(Scene ends)

Joey’s room

( Scene opens in ‘The Joey room version 2.0’. It’s been a few hours since Joey had been shown the room, as is indicated by a couple of empty bottles of beer and the general state of the room. Joey is currently playing a video game, a part of v 2.0)

Chandler (from the door): How’s it going, buddy?

Joey (excited): You were right! This is awesomer!

Chandler: Well, be ready to make it even more awesome! Because here comes… Die Hard!.

(Both whoop and high five each other)

Joey (even more excited): I never want to leave the room now!

Chandler: Then don’t!

(Several uncomfortable moments pass in which Chandler rapidly pales and Joey’s face changes from excitement to suspicion)

Joey: What?

Chandler (desperate to make amends): I… mean let’s just watch Die hard.

Joey (suspicion coupled with disgust): Is that what this was all about? To make me stay here forever?

(Chandler opens his mouth to speak, but words fail him.)

Joey (now nothing but disappointed): And here I was thinking you were happy for me…

(Walks out of the room)

(Chandler sighs and hangs his head)

(Scene ends)

Rachel’s new store

( Scene is in Rachel’s new store, which is yet to open. Monica is stacking the dresses and putting them away in orderly fashion while Rachel is apparently…’supervising’)

Rachel: Phew! This is hard work!

Monica (stopping the work and glaring at Rachel): Look who’s talking! You haven’t done even one box by yourself!

Rachel: But that’s only because you love doing this!

Monica (thinking for a moment, then suddenly getting excited): I do love it!

(Monica gets back to work)

Rachel (audibly): Like a piece of cake.

(Rachel receives a call. It’s from Ross)

Rachel (cheerful): Hey! Oh. Hmm (Frowning a bit in surprise as she listens to the other end) Okay, alright. Sure. I’ll be there!

Monica: Who was it?

Rachel (Still frowning): It was Ross. He wants me to come at the house right next to yours. I wonder why…

Monica (excited): The one that is on sale?

Rachel (confused): Yeah. Mon, do you know anything about it?

Monica (blushing and turning her face away): Nope!

Rachel ( even more suspicious): Monica?

Monica (faking annoyance): You want me to arrange these or not?

Rachel (genuinely worried and joining hands in prayer): Oh please don’t bail out on me, you know I hate doing this. Please, please, please!

Monica: Alright, but only if you promise to ask no more questions.

Rachel (relieved and hugging Monica): I promise! Thank you Mon!

Monica (resuming work): Look who’s a piece of cake now!

(Scene ends)

Monica and Chandler’s living room

( Scene resumes in the living room. Joey is sitting alone on the couch, looking miserable. Enter Chandler, who sits beside him)

Chandler: Hey…

(Joey makes a face and looks in the opposite direction.)

Chandler (sighs): Listen, Joe, I’m really sorry. I really am happy for you.

(Joey is still looking in the opposite direction)

Chandler: I panicked, okay? I was afraid of losing your friendship, of not being there to take care of you in the future.

(Monica has just entered, but stands in the hallway. The guys are oblivious to her presence)

Joey (finally facing Chandler and speaking): I appreciate that, but know what Chandler? I’m tired of being taken care of, of stilling having to rely on others, even when it’s my best friend. Chandler, I want to start a new life out there. So what if it’s not in the ‘comfort zone’ I’ve been in for so long? Let’s face it, I’m far from having that ‘happily ever after’ like you guys. Hell, if anything I’ve gone the other way. And it scares me too! Which is why I need you people to support me! You most of all, Chandler!

Chandler (A bit teary): I do support you Joe.

Joey (smiling): Thank you. And don’t worry about me, Gina is there to see to it that I’m fine. And you will never ever lose me dude, not even if you tried hard to. We’ll be friends forever.

Chandler: I know…

(Both hug each other tightly. Chandler finally sees Monica out of the corner of his eye)

Chandler (flushed): Since when have you been here?

Monica: Long enough to text Ross to send me his divorce lawyer’s number!

(Scene ends)

Chandler and Monica’s living room

( Scene resumes in the living room. Chandler, Joey and Monica are seated on the couch.)

Joey: So this time it’s really happening right?

Monica (smiling): Yes! Ross told me it’s going to be today.

Joey: That’s great!

Chandler: Not as great as our friendship!

Joey (High fiving with Chandler): Oh yeah!

(Monica rolls her eyes)

(A knock is heard on the door)

Chandler: I’ll get it!

(Gets up to open the door. It’s Phoebe and Mike.)

Phoebe (hugging him): Oh it’s nice to be back! I missed you all!

All: We missed you too!

Monica: So how was New Orleans?

Mike: It was amazing… ( Suddenly distracted by someone outside the window) Hey, what is Ross doing over there?

(All look out of the window and see Ross in the neighbouring house, apparently very busy)

Monica: He’s going to propose Rachel!

Phoebe:Just because he’s in that house? Oh you are worse than Rachel! (lowering voice to a whisper) For all we know he could be stealing!

Monica (rolling her eyes): Ross told me earlier today! He’s setting things up, I suppose!

Joey: Should we peek in?

Chandler: What are we, strangers? We get the front seats dude!

(Just then a car comes down the lane and parks itself in front of that house.)

Phoebe: Oooh, here comes the police!

(Ross has heard the car and has sneaked out through the window. He sees the guys seeing them and tells them to be quiet by signs)

Phoebe (now looking towards Monica): I told you he was stealing!

(Scene ends)

The new house

(A/N:- This part is in story format, because this felt the only way to write it)

She wondered why Ross had specifically invited her to the house just next to Monica and Chandler’s. Though she had seen the house several times before, she had never been inside it and had no reason to believe Ross would have either. On reaching the front door, Rachel was a bit surprised to find it slightly ajar but no one around.

She entered the house with rising trepidation. On entering, the first thought that occurred to her was ‘What is this all about?!’ as she was greeted by an array of objects specifically placed around the living room. The house seemed to be converted into a museum. As her eyes turned towards the floor, she saw a white envelope lying on the doormat. It bore the title- ‘A trip down memory lane’ in Ross’s childish handwriting. Intrigued, she opened it and found a page inside.

It read:-

‘I guess you must be thinking what this is about. I’ll answer it in the end, but by then you will have figured it out yourself. For now all I’m going to tell you is to follow what I have prepared. Trust me, it’ll be worth it. – Ross’

Underneath, was an instruction telling her to go to the sofa have a look at the bowl laid on the table in front of it.

The thing inside was one half of an Oreo biscuit. She didn’t get it at first but then a smile appeared on her face as she reminisced the first night of her scary adventure into the ‘real world’. And how Ross had bluntly hinted that he was into her and how she had not given it much thought, having had much more pressing issues to deal with. Not understanding each other… She wondered how they had let it become a trademark of their relationship.

Moving on, she found a laundry basket containing a single red sock and couple of fluffy white towels turned pink by the sock. Rachel laughed out loud as she recollected their first (unofficial) date, where in Ross had reached cloud nine on being kissed by Rachel and ended up colliding head on with the dryer door.

Realising she had stood there for quite sometime, she snaps out of her reverie and finds herself looking at the most beautiful birthday gift she had ever gotten… the brooch. Rachel suddenly becomes serious as she realises that it was the day which had changed her life forever. Gently taking out the brooch, she put it on.

Now finding herself at a closed door, Rachel became slightly skeptical of what that meant. Nevertheless, she opened the door and found yet another note.

‘When you opened the door to Central Perk almost nine years ago, I didn’t realise the magnitude of what was happening. That you had opened the doors to your heart and that I had got an opportunity to step in. For that, I’ll be forever grateful.’

How she wished he was here in person right now to tell him that she was too…

Next up was what seemed like a blank piece of paper. Frowning, she flipped it. She let out an audible gasp. It was the list Ross had prepared when he had to choose between Julie and her. It was the same, except that Rachel was no longer Rachem on Julie’s con list, and that in Rachel’s pro column were the words ‘Everything I ever wanted’. “Oh Ross” Rachel whispers, slowly welling up with emotion.

An old video cassette caught her attention. It was of their prom night. Rachel remembered how unknowingly she had let down Ross. She lifted up the tape to find a note saying ‘I’ll be there for you. Always’. “I know” she whispers again, eyes now brimming with tears.

By now, Rachel had gotten an idea of what Ross had planned, but she wondered why he was doing all of this. She was now led to a jar of fat. Raising her eyebrows she couldn’t help but chuckle when she read the note there saying ‘I’ll still drink it, if that’s what it takes to prove my love’. Smiling, she says to herself ‘Oh, I might, just for the heck of it’.

But now began the downfall as she recognised a few of the several things Ross had sent her when he had become crazily jealous of Mark for nothing. Yet again a note presented itself. ‘Even I feel like kicking myself in the nuts now. How did you put up with this?’ Rachel’s eyes yet again began brimming with tears, but now they were of sorrow. “It’s simple. I didn’t.”

Dreading what came up next, Rachel debated whether she should move ahead or not. Finally feeling like she didn’t have a choice, she moves on. Next came just a note.

‘The biggest mistake in my life, and I still don’t feel like taking responsibility for it. Were we on a break? Truth be told I honestly believed we were done, which was an irony considering how difficult I found it to believe in first place that I was Rachel Green’s boyfriend! I still refuse to believe that I spoiled my own dream… forever…’

The memories started to flood in, of that long night which had seemed like an eternity. The worst night of her life which yet again changed their lives forever. She still hadn’t forgiven him and she wondered if she ever would. But then, she thought, it had been her who had led him to think of it as a break up. Nope. She couldn’t do it. Like Ross, she has regrets running so deep that she refused to take blame either. Maybe the time had come to bury those moments for once and for all.

Following it was a thin booklet. Rachel recognised her own handwriting. On top in Ross’s handwriting was- ‘It’s still 18 pages, front and back!’ Rachel smiles a bit, although starts feeling guilty about how wrongly she handled it. The note continued- ‘But I swear I read it all. Turn to the last page.’ She did so. On the last page just after she had scribbled ‘does it?’ for the last time, Ross had written ‘It does… I find it as hard to admit as I had 7 years ago… wish I had done it then…’

On reading, Rachel’s tears begin to flow more freely as she puts down the letter and says ‘No, it doesn’t. Not all of it…’

Rachel wondered how much more of this she could take. Ross seemed to be trapping her in a whirlpool of emotions she didn’t feel upto. Slowly, she walked a little ahead and found a chit with just her name on it, written in inverted commas. “Rachel”. Frowning, she flipped it and found the rest of the note.

‘To this day I’m not sure what actually made me say your name at the altar. But it was still one of the best things that ever happened to me. I don’t know what would have happened otherwise but what I do know is what couldn’t have. And that’s ‘us’ Rach. I was given a second chance.’

Rachel remembered what a day it had been for her. Dreams had been shattered and remade within the blink of an eye. She couldn’t explain why, but the one time Ross said her name at the altar also was the best her name had ever sounded to her. Maybe because it was meant to be…

Then her eyes fell on to the 2 empty bottles of Vodka and the worst document Rachel had ever signed. A document whose very existence she had made herself forget ages ago. God, how do we manage to complicate each and every thing, she thought. But there it was. The living proof of their ‘worst hangover’- The divorce papers. A tiny part of her always wondered what if she had never forced Ross to do it. Things could have been so much simpler. They could have been happily married for the past 5 years, right? But, it had happened. Now the only thing she could do was to not ruin it, as she was sure it was going to happen again, but in a better and a ‘sober’ way. Beneath was a note- ‘I’m glad you made me do it. It just wasn’t the right way, nor was it the right time.’ Yeah, maybe thought Rachel as she closed the file and hoped to never see that again.

Yet another tape. A sticker on it proclaimed ‘Warning:- Adult content’. Rachel smiled as she found herself moving forward through the memory lane to that ‘one night stand’ which later proved that absolutely nothing that happened between the two of them could ‘just happen’. Everything had to affect their entire lives. But this had affected them in the best way possible.

When she saw what was next she couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. Though she had mixed feelings of what Ross was up to, she certainly hadn’t imagined such an abrupt and ‘mechanical’ end. She had imagined the trail ending with Ross standing there in person. But here it was. The box of Ross’s grandmother’s ring. Was this it? she thought and looked around the room, expecting him to be there. This time she was completely sure that Ross wanted her to wear it, but if she had learnt one thing from her ‘engagement’ two years ago, then it was that to never wear an engagement ring without being properly asked. Thankfully, a note was waiting patiently for her.

‘This time I’ve played smart and the ring is no longer inside. So no one can propose to you.’

Smiling yet also regretting her rash act two years ago, she kept the box down and wondered what else laid in store for her.

Glad that this was not the end but yet again dreading going through another dark phase of their relationship, she was greeted by a crumpled piece of yellow coloured paper. On it was the number of a guy she couldn’t remember meeting. On the other side was something freshly written.

‘Even six years and an amazing child together couldn’t help me forget my jealousy. And yet again, we lost it.’ Guilt began to fill in as she recollected her attempts to ‘move on’ from Ross when they were so unnecessary. She realised that she had been sorry as well, but that her pride never allowed her to confess it to Ross.

“What next?” she thought to herself, before suddenly exclaiming “Oh…” What came next was something they never spoke about. It was something which they both, or rather all three of them liked to pretend never happened. Honestly Rachel still didn’t know what to think. But for the first time Ross seemed to be ready to face yet another elephant in the room. (Ross and Rachel’s relationship had so many ‘elephants’ they could make a herd out of it…) She was now facing a plate with a couple of frozen fajitas and a large but empty pitcher of margaritas. Tucked neatly under the plate was a pretty long note.

‘In case you are hungry/thirsty then I am really sorry. I didn’t have enough time to prepare these.’

But Rachel was worried about what was written beneath and couldn’t crack a smile this time…

‘I know we never talked about this, but this had been a wake up call for me to realise everything I had gotten wrong. Yet again, on that day, I felt I had lost you forever. Although this time, there was a consolation. You were happy. You were with a person who loved you for who you were and who I knew would never ever hurt you. A person whom I could trust you with forever. I never had the courage to face reality, but I knew I was on the losing end… I couldn’t see him get jealous and I hate to admit (but I have to) that he is a much better person than I am. I dread to think of it Rach, but if there’s another person whom you’d live your life with, then I think Joey is the only one I wouldn’t hate.’

Feeling her knees buckle, Rachel sat down on the chair which was thankfully placed just beside her. This seemed like a fantasy. Ross was being so mature and truthful that it made her feel what had she done to get this guy so madly in love with her…

Sometimes she did think about her short run with Joey. But she had come to realise that though Joey had completely fallen for her at some point, what she had felt was just a crush. And that too with Joey the actor and not Joey her roommate. Though she found Joey loveable and adorable, she simply could not imagine a future with him. It seemed something which had to just happen, that’s all. Ross was right. He wasn’t perfect. But was she? No, far from it in fact. Though they had given each other the hardest times they had also had the best moments of their life together. Whatever their faults, they were made for each other. And now the time had come for her to finally say it out loud.

The last thing to greet her in the living room was her plane ticket to Paris. On it Ross had scribbled,

‘God bless Phoebe Buffay.’

Laughing, Rachel realised that she now had to climb up the stairs and enter the bedroom. Knowing this was the ‘last item’ her heart now started beating faster in anticipation at what or rather who was going to greet her behind that door.

As she reached the top of the stairs, she heard a song playing softly from one of the rooms. She decided to follow it. The source, she was surprised was not the beautiful master bedroom but rather the smaller nursery. On entering, she realised that the song had been put on repeat as it began to play again. There was no one in the room. So she decided to listen to the song .

‘I’m not a perfect person

There’s many things I wish I didn’t do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just need you to hear

I found out a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I’m sorry that I hurt you

It’s something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That’s why I need you to hear

I found out a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you ‘

(A/N :- The song is Hoobastank’s ‘The reason’. This song was played during the special episode before the series Finale to depict the relations over the years. I think it’s perfect for our lobsters)

As a fresh batch of tears began making their way down her cheeks, she was pulled out of her reverie when she heard footsteps coming from below. Wiping her tears, she decided to make herself presentable, which was proving to be a very difficult task. The footsteps grow heavier but then they suddenly stopped as though hesitating. After a few seconds…

Ross (hissing but audible): Stop following me!

(All five are standing right behind Ross on the staircase)

Monica (whispering): But I want to see my best friend getting engaged!

Ross: It’s personal!

Chandler: Since when?

Ross (rolling eyes and shrugging): Fine!

(Ross finally enters the room. Rachel has heard every word and now has a broad smile on her face)

Ross (somewhat shyly): Hey.

Rachel (smiling): Hi.

Ross (clearing his throat): Ahemm… I actually wanted to bring Emma with me but apparently she had other plans…

(Rachel says nothing as she waits for Ross to finally say those four words.)

Ross: Listen, I know this is not the romantic Planetarium way I had planned but I felt that this should be the most mature thing we have ever done. Rach, I wanted you to keep in mind everything that has ever happened between us before you took a decision. Of how our lives have changed ever since you walked in my life dressed fittingly as a bride. And not just the good things, but the bad ones as well. To know how much baggage we carry…

Rachel (interrupting and holding Ross’s arms): No, we..

Ross (softly yet firmly): Yes we do Rach there’s no denying that. I want your decision to be right and not a spur of the moment like it has always been for us. And so I took you through the past ten years of our lives and then finally showed you what lies in the future. (Taking a deep breath and continuing) Rach, we can call this place our home and live together forever only if it makes you happy.

Rachel: Ross, ever since we first broke up, I have been wondering what was it that kept us apart? What was it that made us constantly feel like we were in the wrong place at the wrong time? The answer was simple. It was us. We made sure that we never got back together. We kept blaming the circumstances, the people but deep within, it was us and we knew it. Ross, I know we were not perfect when we were with each other. We fought like crazy, got jealous and what not. But that simply doesn’t mean we let go of everything we have. And I think if even after all we’ve been through we can still look each other in the eye and say that we love each other, then I think it’s proof enough that we can survive through anything. We are each other’s lobsters. It’s something we should have realised a long time ago. Ross, (Holding Ross’s hands in hers) I want to start a new life with you and not let anything stand in the way. To rest the ghosts of our pasts forever and to be in any future that has you in it. Yes, Ross Geller, I will marry you.

(Ross is speechless while the owners of the five ears sticking on the bedroom door whoop in celebration)

(Finally Ross embraces her and they kiss as deeply and passionately as though it was their first kiss)

(The guys finally barge in)

All: Congratulations! (hugging the couple who still have do not have eyes for anyone else than each other)

Phoebe (excitedly): I want to see the ring!

Rachel (now aware that she hadn’t been given one): I…

(All notice that she doesn’t have the ring, and are puzzled by it)

Ross: I actually …didn’t propose. You said yes before I even asked!

(Now taking out the ring)

Rachel (eyes rounding as she realises that it was true): Oh my God!

Chandler: Boy are you in a hurry to get married! Two years later, you are still the same…

Ross: Nope, she has improved. The ring is still with me!

All: Yeah, Good for you Rach!

Rachel (smiling): I have!

Ross (Getting on one knee): I’ll better make it like it was supposed to be. Rachel Green, will you marry me?

Rachel: Yes!

( The gang whoop once more as Ross now puts the ring in its rightful place.)

( Scene ends)

(Final/ Credits scene)

( Scene resumes in Ross and Rachel’s apartment. Monica, Chandler, Phoebe and Mike are seated on and around the couch, while Ross and Rachel are standing behind Joey, waiting for him to speak)

Joey (clears throat): Ladies and gentlemen, we are all aware of why we have gathered here today, on this joyous occasion…

All (bored): Yeah…

Ross (rolling his eyes): Can you believe them! It’s finally happening after all these years and there they are!

(Rachel nods in agreement)

Joey: We are here to witness the beginning of a new era in the life of the people we have grown to love over the years. We are here to see them finally get… (turns the pages)… Jeez this is 10 pages front and back! Can’t you ever write in short, woman?

(Rachel blushes)

Joey(rushing through the pages): Happiness… satisfaction… forever…Oh there we are! Phew! We are here to see the biggest event life could ever present us with…

(now takes a pause for the ‘grand’ effect. It doesn’t happen)

Joey (continues): The decision of whether Ross and Rachel were on a break. Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like you to raise your hands in favour of whichever side you feel is right. The decision will be considered final.

Joey: Those in favour of ‘They were on a break’?

(Nobody raise their hands)

Rachel (in glee): Ha!

Joey: Those in favour of ‘They were not on a break’?

(Still nobody raises their hands)

Ross (now happy): Ha! Gotcha!

Rachel: Wait, wait, wait? So what side are you on?

Joey: I guess option three!

(All now raise hands)

Ross (confused): What? There’s no option three! (Takes the paper and reads it out loud. It’s in Monica’s handwriting.) ‘Those in favour of enough time has been wasted over this, and we have better things to do?

(All again raise their hands)

Joey: So I guess we conclude that this ‘Break or not’ thing is a sham and that no party is a winner?

All: Yeah!

Joey: Thank you ladies and Gentlemen. That settles it.

Ross (smiling with obvious difficulty): Of course.

Rachel (faking a smile): Absolutely.

(Joey turns his back to them again)

Ross (mutinous): That’s five less people coming to our wedding.

Rachel: Oh yeah!

(End of scene)

(End of episode)